Today, sitting in my kitchen
I realized
I am now the matriarch of my family
The oldest living woman
At 39
I have no elders to look to
No mother, or grandmother or even auntie
I also realized
This was a title my mother carried
Silently
For over 20 years
The weight of it
Feels unbearable
Unnatural
I haven’t finished growing up yet
How am I supposed to be the wise old woman
The younger generations look up to?
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